Here is a very effective way to help quickly stop arguing from your child.

The idea behind it is very simple. Most parents make the mistake of trying to over explain or justify themselves to their child. It sounds something like this:

Parent: "I need you to pick up your room"

child: "Why should I have to. You never make (insert name of sbiling here) pickup."

Parent (frustrated): "That's not true. He has to do just as many chores as you-- sometimes even more."

Child: "Yeah--right"

Parent: "It's true. Just last week I made him clean out the garage while you slept in..." Yada yada yada

As a therapist, I want to see the parents I work with not getting into this endless cycle of trying to justify or explain their behavior to their child--who isn't going to agree with "your wisdom" anyways!

Here is your new and improved strategy. When your child's starts to argue with you, you simply say a short word or phrase that keeps the focus on what they need to do and doesn't result in defending yourself. This is best said in a relatively neutral or sad tone of voice.

Parent: "I need you to pick up your room"

Child: "Why should I have to. You never make (insert name of sbiling here) pickup."

Parent: "Nice try, you still need to pick up your room"

Child: "That's so unfair"

Parent (sadly): "I know. Let me know when it's done so you can go outside"

Notice the difference? This can make the difference between intense conflict or a very manageable discussion about what needs to get done in the house. Keep it short and sweet and avoid sarcasm.